Summary

We have a socially created dichotomy of “Us” and “Them” in the USA. We took the bait and allowed ourselves to be divided. We can learn from brainwashing and the evolution of cults. We can connect with each other and start the reconciliation process. We may not be ready for the truth. Let’s work together.

Belonging is Important for Wellbeing

In previous posts, I have spoken about the neuroscience of wellbeing, often referencing social connectedness. I have cited the literature related to peace and conflict resolution to highlight the contribution of social capital to safety in our communities, de facto our collective wellbeing. Let’s explore belonging from a slightly different perspective: how belonging is important for wellbeing in the context of an “Us” and “Them” political narrative.

Why This Matters

The dichotomy of “Us” and “Them” is the antithesis of engendering social capital. The narrative of “Us” and “Them” is the narrative in which we are currently living. Belonging is important for wellbeing and is achievable if we challenge the narrative of “Us” and “Them”.

Stay with me.

“Us” and “Them” detaches you and me from “the Other”. “The Other” becomes a “They”. As we pile up the alleged complaints about “Them”, we embark on the slippery slop of alienating “Them”. As “They” become aliens (see where I am going?), we (yes, we engage in an action so an active form of a verb will follow), WE dehumanize “Them”.

Please, go back and read last week’s post on dehumanization.

We will not achieve social capital in a community in which we alienate “The Other”. “They” will not experience a sense of belonging. “We” will not experience a sense of belonging. The chasm between us becomes a gap so wide that each group is now facing a cliff, to fall off.

Tapping into Guilt

Growing up, the running joke in my friend group was really not a joke. It was the serious question of who has the most guilt, those of us who were raised Roman Catholic or those of us who were raised Jewish. Heaven help anyone who was raised in both traditions.

I think we were on the right track, on the road to building social capital. Why? Because we debated this issue and did not realize that, having been taught to experience guilt and shame and remorse and humility and empathy and compassion in the context of our spiritual segments of society, we were well-armed to feel an alliance with others. We had been taught prosocial emotions. De facto, hopefully, we would engage in prosocial behaviours.

You know, reaching out a helping hand to someone in need. Or sharing a meal with a person eating alone. Or standing up to a bully. Or advocating for services to support the most vulnerable in our community. Or volunteering when a calamity struck a segment of society. Or thanking someone for helping us.

Prosocial behaviours contribute to our collective wellbeing.

Capitalizing on Vulnerabilities

Sounds sick, right? To take advantage of someone who is vulnerable. Gaslighting is a form of taking advantage of someone and can exploit the power differential in the relationship with a vulnerable person.

I posit that we live in a society in which the gaslighting of vulnerable people has created the current situation of “Us” and “Them”. There is an external party who fueled the divisiveness through culture wars and we, yep stupid all of us, took the bait. A vulnerable segment of our population felt victimized: I will not debate whether this sense of victimization is founded or not. It really does not matter. “They” felt victimized. I believe that some of “Us” also felt victimized. The external party continued to water the seeds of division and created the perfect storm (pardon the mixed metaphors).

Pit one group against another and some wannabee hero will claim to be able to save the day. The problem with that is the hero never had the intention of solving the divisions. Nope. The hero capitalized on the sense of victimization, sided with one group, gained power, and left their supporters in the dust.

We still have “Us” and “Them”. The hero is pulling our puppet strings and continuing to manipulate us.

Sick, but true.

Understanding the Underpinnings of Brainwashing

We need to understand the neuroscience of brainwashing to stop the manipulation. So, let’s go for it.

Consider the literature on the neuroscience of brainwashing. Brainwashing involves the manipulation of social interactions and the conveying of a specific narrative (storyline) to the exclusion of other versions of the story in order to convince a person and to control their behaviour. Lieberman (2024) provides a concise reviewt of the brain regions involved in brainwashing. Lieberman identifies the steps in brainwashing: fostering social isolation and conditioning people to new behaviours via rewards and punishments. The goal is to ensure the person is faithful to the narrative.

Marizzitti (2022) discussed how brainwashing can occur in the environment of social media, consistent with what Noam Chomsky has called manufacturing consent.

Manufacturing consent lends itself to the creation of a cult.

In a cult, the leader needs to subjugate people to perpetuate a particular narrative. The leader achieves this via manipulation, in order to exert power over the people. Take a listen to a presentation by Noam Chomsky from 1989 in which he delineates the manipulation and the philosophical bases for such manipulation of a population. Chomsky employs the term ‘herd’ during his discussion. I extrapolate to the evolution of a cult in the population of a nation.

Noam Chomsky Necessary Illusions, April 11, 1989, presented at American University, Institute of Political Studies

The Neuroscience of Guilt: Intersection with Brainwashing in Cults?

We do understand something about the brain regions and neurocircuits implicated in the experience of individual guilt and guilt shared with our in-group: some neuroimaging studies indicate that the same brain centers are involved when we experience guilt for what we have done and when we experience guilt for what our in-group has done. Further research is required to dissect whether what has been experienced is guilt or if shame and empathy also play a role in the experience (Zhiai et al, 2020). Though the study was small, the review of the literature and the elegance of the study are impressive, in my humble opinion.

Two presentations related to brainwashing and cults are included below.

Diane Benscoter: How cults rewire the brain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL0uxDscjdo

Tui McLean: The psychological tricks that make cults so dangerous

https://www.bbc.com/reel/video/p0c37r7p/the-psychological-tricks-that-make-cults-so-dangerous

Belonging is Important for Wellbeing

We can see from the above discussion on brainwashing and cults that belongingness is critical for building social capital, thus fostering collective wellbeing. And, if we belong, then we value our community. If we belong, we can experience guilt for the transgressions of our community, like sending people to concentration camps.

Our society is engaged in a narrative in which propaganda has succeeded in convincing us that there is only one “Us” and the rest of us are “Them”. The socially constructed division is a false narrative which “US” can counter with concrete actions.

We all belong to society and our society’s wellbeing depends on our interdependence and mutual respect. Ah, yes, the social niceties sacrificed at the altar of a cult bent on exploiting “US” and dividing US into “Us” and “Them”.

Take Action for Wellbeing through Belonging

We need to connect with each other. We need to find common ground. We need to appreciate the benefits of differences in society for creating a tapestry of complementing elements. We complement each other because we are different.

We, the People, are One. Our differences are our strengths.

As my mother used to say (she is dead so she has not been speaking lately!): our world would be a boring place if we were all the same. I agree.

We can all learn from Berenike, where our ancestors created a fabric of interwoven threads from across the world. (Smithsonian Magazine, July/August 2024).

Of course, music to nourish our souls:

Sweet Honey in the Rock performing “Redemption Song” (Bob Marley)

John Fulbright performing “Happy”

To be honest, I do not believe that we are ready for truth amongst US (Us and Them) but we have to make room for reconciliation. We owe it to all of US in the USA. Belonging is important for wellbeing.

Be safe. Be strong, Be compassionate to yourself and to others, for US.

Disclaimer: This post is not meant to substitute for a consultation with your mental health professional team.

If you are having thoughts of hurting yourself or of hurting someone else, please CALL 9-1-1; CALL 9-8-8; or GO TO the nearest Emergency Room.

Selected References:

Benscoter, D. (June 17, 2009). How cults rewire the brain. TEDTalks. Accessed online on July 12, 2025, at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL0uxDscjdo

Lieberman, A. (December 17, 2024). Under the influence: the mechanics of brainwashing. PennNeuroKnow. Accessed online on July 12, 2025, at https://pennneuroknow.com/2024/12/17/under-the-influence-the-mechanics-of-brainwashing/

Marchant, J. (July/August 2024). A Buried Ancient Egyptian Port Reveals the Hidden Connections Between Distant Civilizations. Smithsonian Magazine, Accessed online on July 12, 2025, at https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/hidden-ancient-egyptian-port-reveals-180984485/

Marizzitti, D. (Oct 2022). Brainwashing by Social Media: A Threat to Freedom, a Risk for Dictatorship. Clin Neuropsychiatry, 19(5): 277-279. Accessed online on July 12, 2025, at https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9597644/

McLean, T. (April 28. 2022). The psychological tricks that make cults so dangerous. BBC. Accessed online on July 12, 2025, at https://www.bbc.com/reel/video/p0c37r7p/the-psychological-tricks-that-make-cults-so-dangerous

UN Innovation Network. June 15, 2023. The Neuroscience of Peace and Conflict. Accessed online on March 9, 2025, at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxJPHLbipNM

Zhiai, L., Yu, H., Zhou, Y., Kalenscher, T., Zhou, X. (1 April 2020). Guilty by association: How group-based (collective) guilt arises in the brain. NeuroImage, 209. Accessed online on July 12, 2025, at https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1053811919310791