When Our Lack of Compassion Fails US

Summary

Our lack of compassion fails US when we dehumanize other people. When we dehumanize other people, we commit cruelty against them. We can teach compassion. We can learn to be compassionate. Some of US seem to experience no compassion for people we are hurting in Iran and in other parts of the world, even in our own country. Those of US who feel compassion are also feeling moral injury as our government takes actions in our names. Let’s spread the truth to stop dehumanization and to promote compassion. We owe it to US and to the world.

When Our Lack of Compassion Fails US

When Our Lack of Compassion Fails US is a post engendered in the present as much as in the past.

In conversation with friends and family, I recently noticed that many of us are grappling with the same question about why some of us, literally some of US, are experiencing distress and compassion for the civilian and military victims of the war on Iran. And, it seems that some of US are not feeling any compassion for these victims. This led me to question why some of US are gung ho and intransigent about backing the USA’s War on Iran and how this lack of compassion towards fellow human beings will undermine US as a society.

Let’s explore the quandary of when our lack of compassion fails US as a nation.

Compassion Is Taught and Learnt

I am a firm believer that compassion is taught and learnt.

Growing up, I was taught to empathize with and experience compassion for other children. If a classmate fell, I understood that I should run over to help my classmate. If a friend didn’t have enough to eat (and some friends didn’t), I learnt to invite them over for lunch. If a child on the playground in the park was crying, I learnt to hear the crying and to be sad and ask why the child was crying. Some of these responses are mirror neuron based. Regardless, modeling by our caregivers is how we learn to reinforce these responses.

Consider, through song, how we are taught to see others as ourselves or we learn to hate them.

‘You’ve Got to Be Carefully Taught’ from South Pacific: AsiaSocietyHK

Our Brains Function in Context

During a 2024 panel discussion hosted by the Berghof Foundation, Dr. Michael Niconchuk aptly emphasized the importance of the brain in context. The brain exists in the context of our bodies; in the context of the environment; in the context of politics and culture; in the context of life experiences; in the context of a culture’s experience; and in the context of the experience of ancestors and family members. The brain, which impacts how we experience the world by interpretation and by reaction, does not exist as a lone warrior of one person. The brain operates in the context of many variables.

As Tim Phillips emphasizes during the 2024 panel discussion mentioned above, so much is occurring at an unconscious level that we really must be attentive to what we do not know is going on in our brains and how those impact our ability to navigate conflict and post conflict reconciliation.

When we contemplate our interactions with friends, family members, neighbours, and people in different countries, we have to consider that each of us operates in a different sphere. Each of our brains functions in the context of many variables. Similarly, each of US brings a different set of variables to the table.

I wish our leaders were informed by the neuroscience of peace and conflict; the neuroscience of human interactions; and the neuroscience of belonging. Then, maybe, they would favour diplomacy over engaging in armed conflicts.

Belonging Is Social Capital: When Our Lack of Compassion Fails US

In previous posts, I have spoken about the importance of belonging to a community. A sense of belonging is protective for the entire community. Just think about the child in the classroom who is struggling with reading. If the child’s classmates laugh and mock the child and ostracize the child in the playground, what is the likelihood that that child will feel a sense of belonging to the class? Without a sense of belonging, a person becomes isolated and marginalized. That does not foster investment in the group, right?

When adults employ terms to distinguish people as being distinct from the group, adults create division. Adults, US, contribute to in-group and out-group attachment. That does not bode well for the community.

“Us” and “Them” detaches you and me from “the Other”. “The Other” becomes a “They”. As we pile up the alleged complaints about “Them”, we embark on the slippery slope of alienating “Them”. As “They” become aliens (see where I am going?), we (yes, we engage in an action so an active form of a verb will follow), WE dehumanize “Them”.

We lose social capital by fueling the discourse related to identifying groups as being distinct and incompatible. We contribute to dehumanization of both “Us” and “Them”.

Our Lack of Compassion Fails When We Objectify Each Other

Our lack of compassion fails US when we engage in objectifying another person. This objectification can occur by stereotyping and labeling another person. The objectification is perpetuated when we look at numbers of people in the other group instead of looking at individual members of the group.

And, applying statistics to discuss the number of casualties in a war accelerates our journey towards lacking compassion for people. Take a listen to a person who is wise for his youthfulness. Maybe we can learn something from Manraj Gill speaking about our lack of compassion during a 2022 TedTalk entitled, ‘Limits to Compassion: Why We Don’t Care About War’:

Falsehoods and Truths: What We Believe Affects Our Compassion Muscle

Compassion is a muscle we need to exercise in order to build its strength and our intuitive access to compassion. In order to experience compassion, we need to have access to facts not lies or conspiracy theories. Without facts, we are unable to know the truth in a situation.

Consider the literature on the neuroscience of brainwashing. Brainwashing involves the manipulation of social interactions and the conveying of a specific narrative (storyline) to the exclusion of other versions of the story in order to convince a person and to control their behaviour. Lieberman (2024) provides a concise review of the brain regions involved in brainwashing. Lieberman delineates the steps in brainwashing: fostering social isolation and conditioning people to new behaviours via rewards and punishments. The goal is to ensure the person is faithful to the narrative.

I am less inclined to be compassionate when I am told that another person is the perpetrator of abuse or the one who started the conflict. I caution everyone to stop and analyze a situation before you engage reflexively in reacting to news about a conflict. Because, once we buy the lie, we will continue to base our reactions on that first lie. One lie is built on other lies and then we lose sight of the persons who are victims in the conflict. We keep referring back to the first lie and attributing blame to the entire out-group.

Guilt Helps US Experience Compassion

I believe that if we can experience guilt, we can find space for compassion, even for those people who are considered part of the out-group.

We do understand something about the brain regions and neurocircuits implicated in the experience of individual guilt and guilt shared with our in-group: some neuroimaging studies indicate that the same brain centers are involved when we experience guilt for what we have done and when we experience guilt for what our in-group has done. Further research is required to dissect whether what has been experienced is guilt or if shame and empathy also play a role in the experience (Zhiai et al, 2020). Though the study was small, the review of the literature and the elegance of the study are impressive, in my humble opinion.

Dehumanization Fuels Our Lack of Compassion

Once we dehumanize a fellow human being, we no longer see a person of flesh and blood like us. We perceive the person as being devoid of the same emotions which we experience. The dehumanized person becomes somewhat inanimate, conceived as an object lacking the ability to love, to cry, to be sad, to grieve, the have pain in their soul.

As Bruneau et al (2018) disclose in the research article linked below, dehumanization is distinct from dislike. Dehumanization taps into different neural networks than dislike.

And, as I keep saying, words matter.

As Pluta et al (2023) demonstrate, exposure to hateful language promotes dehumanization of the other by affecting our ability to empathize with the pain or suffering of the other; and that emotional numbing occurs leading to a generalized lack of empathy to the pain or suffering of other people, including members of our in-group. Hate speech affects our ability to take the perspective of the other and desensitizes us to hate speech about anyone.

What does the research demonstrate? Exposure to hate speech dehumanizes all of US. We become less sensitive to the suffering or pain of others, regardless their in-group status. We become less empathetic and less inclined to take the perspective of the other person. And, dehumanization is engendered in neural networks that are distinct from the neural networks associated with disliking a person or a group of people.

Moral Injury: The Harvest of Our Lack of Compassion

Dehumanization leads to the objectification of our fellow human beings. This paves the way for US to lack compassion for “The Other”. Then we decide to harm the other because after all, they are no longer considered to be ‘human’, justifying our lack of humanity towards the other person.

Perpetrators not only kill “The Other”. They kill the children of “The Other”. In our War on Iran, we have a fine example and I must thank you, Pete Hegseth, for demonstrating your degradation to an inhumane perpetrator as you bemoan the “stupid rules of engagement”. The perpetrators torture “The Other” and rape the women, men, and children of “The Other”, as has been documented having been done by the IDF against Palestinian people.

You and I who see how inhumane these actions are experience a sense of moral injury because the cruelty has been perpetrated in our name, using our taxpayer monies.

Our lack of compassion will fail US if we lose the sense of compassion for those experiencing war.

Take-aways: When Our Lack of Compassion Fails US

It is critical that we take action to maintain the ability of compassion towards our fellow human beings. We can decrease our moral injury and the destruction of our hateful actions by acknowledging what we have done and what actions we must take to make amends for the cruelty we have committed or the cruelty which has been committed in our names.

How does moral injury feel and taste and smell? Just use your senses. America, we have blood on our hands. How do we redeem ourselves? By stopping our leaders and stopping the hatred now.

To be honest, I do not believe that we are ready for truth between US (Us and Them in the USA) but we have to make room for reconciliation. We should continue to speak the truth and share the truth but remember what I have said in previous posts: we cannot change another person’s mind. Recall that people who are prone to believe one conspiracy theory, will be inclined to believe more conspiracy theories. People who believe conspiracy theories, process fact differently than they process conspiracy theories in their brains. People who believe in conspiracy theories are processing information differently than those of US who do not believe conspiracy theories. The way to change their minds is to provide them with facts and that is a difficult task in the USA in 2026 when NewsMax, NewsNation, FoxNews, CBS, and many other media outlets broadcast propaganda not truth.

In the USA, much to my chagrin, propaganda is the delicacy de jour. We are going to have to aim for reconciliation and then start the truth discussions. Then we cannot shirk our duties. We must show the facts, in all of their cruelty and rawness, the new ‘horribles’ we have co-created as a nation. And, we must have the courage to embark on a 21rst Century version of the Nuremberg Trials. We owe it to all of US in the USA and we owe it to the world. Consequences matter.

Finally, we must foster a sense of belonging for all people, just like I thought we had before the ugly head of American fascism emerged from the mists in which I and many others had enveloped ourselves. The Rainbow Coalition of Jesse Jackson’s campaign gave me hope, perhaps a false hope. We must stop the fascistic leadership of Donald and his billionaire cronies from dividing US. Why? Because belonging is important for wellbeing.

And, once we belong to our community, after we have exercised the muscles of compassion, empathy, gratitude, and loving kindness towards each of US, we must remember that every person on this earth is a human being. We all belong to the human race. We are all flesh and blood. When one of us is injured, all of us are injured.

Consider a scientist’s view of war, as deftly enunciated by astrophysicist, Neil deGrasse Tyson:

Our lack of compassion failed US in the past. Our lack of compassion is failing US now. But, compassion can be taught. That lesson starts right now.

CBC: Who bombed a girls’ school in Iran: a visual investigation. March 4, 2026

https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/iran-school-bombing-investigation-9.7114994

Those children did nothing wrong and we, via a US Tomahawk, killed them.

When our lack of compassion fails US is when we ignore the outcomes of our actions and we do not face the consequences. Let’s show the world that we still have compassion and that we will take actions to rectify the damage our government has done in our names.

Are you with me?

 

Immerse yourself in music to inspire you on our quest to save democracy and give peace a chance.

 

Please give generously to local mutual aid agencies. Your neighbours will thank you.

 

 

Disclaimer: The content of this post is not meant to substitute for a consultation with your healthcare professional team.

 

The content of this post includes the personal opinion of the author who is justifiably exercising her First Amendment Right to speak freely, including employing monikers for persons mentioned in the post.

 

 

If you are thinking of hurting yourself or of hurting someone else, please CALL 9-1-1; CALL 9-8-8; or GO TO the nearest emergency room.

 

 

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Nota Bene:

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